Something Always Brings Me Back To You
by RubeePotter
Summary: Who does Lily's heart belong to? Who will she ultimately decide to be with? Or is she destined to be torn between two forever? Updating chapters. Please R
1. You loved me because I'm fragile

**Chapter 1 **

_You loved me because I'm fragile, and I thought that I was strong.. _

It was a misty morning. Fog covered the grounds of Hogwarts; Hagrid's Hut was barely visible behind the low clouds.

Lily was lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling. How long had she been awake? She wasn't sure.. She checked her watch - it was 8 am. The other girls in the dormitory would soon be stirring. Or would they? Lily remembered it was a Saturday and they had no lessons. She was free to do as she pleased; perhaps go to Hogsmeade or go and do some studying in the library. But that's not what she wanted. She was thinking about _him_, he had barely left her mind all night and was causing her to lose sleep (which wasn't good. But it did mean her feelings for him were genuine, didn't it?) However, Lily was confused. _Boys_ confused her, no matter who they were. Her own father confused her, the way he acted with her mother. People always told her how great it was being in love, how amazing it felt to see _their_ face. But this did not feel great. In fact, it felt _awful_. She despised the feeling.

As she lay, pondering over her love life, the girl in the bed next to her stirred, and after giving a loud yawn, looked over at Lily.

"Hey, Lil," she smiled, sleepily. "Are you okey?"

Lily looked over at Mary, her best friend throughout most of her time at Hogwarts, and returned the smile.

"Morning Mary. I'm fine." she lied, hoping to convince her friend, who was having none of it.

"You were up _all_ night. Woke me up a few times muttering to yourself." She grinned at Lily's slightly shocked expression. "Still having boy troubles, then?"

Lily nodded, and looked down, sighing to herself. "Why is it so hard?" she said, though the question wasn't directed at Mary.

"Every seventeen year old girl will go through this, Lily. It's inevitable. You just have to listen to your heart."

"It's hard when your heart and your head are at war," Lily sighed. "Anyway.. I shouldn't be bringing you down with my problems. Do you want to go to breakfast?"

Mary nodded, and jumped out of her bed, dressed herself quickly, and said, "I will meet you in the Great Hall Lily."

Lily nodded, and watched her friend leave. Lily's eyes felt heavy but she knew she wouldn't be able to get to sleep now, so she, got up, stretched, and dressed herself, a little slower than Mary had. She was thinking about love, again. "Stop it." she thought to herself, "Stop letting boys have control of your life."

She picked up her wand from under her bed, and left for the Great Hall.


	2. I've always lived like this

**Chapter 2 **

_I've always lived like this; keeping a comfortable distance _

"Hey, Lily!"

Lily had been sitting at the morning feast for about a quater of an hour when she heard someone call her from behind. She looked around, and saw fellow head of year, James Potter, strolling towards her. She smiled - she had grown to like James over the last few months, and they were getting on a lot better than they had for their first six years at Hogwarts.

"How are you, Lily?" James asked, sitting himself next to her. Mary gave Lily a knowing look, then turned back towards her food.

"I'm alright thank you, James," Lily said, avoiding his eyes, however, he eyed her suspiciously.

"You look _awful_ Lily," he said, "So I know you're lying."

"Gee, thanks James," Lily said, rolling her eyes, "Wasn't it only yesterday you were telling me you thought I was beautiful? Were you lying, Mr Potter?"

James laughed lightly. "You know what I mean, Evans. You've not slept. What's up?"

Lily avoided his gaze, and simply said, "Women's problems."

James's face twisted into a disgusted look. "Er.. nice," he said, "I guess I will leave you to your 'womens problems'.." He stood up from his seat, however not before he gave Lily a quick kiss on the cheek. He blushed when Lily looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "I'm going to meet Sirius and Remus," he quickly stated, "See you later Lily. You too Mary." He turned, and raced up the Great Hall, and out into the Main Entrance.

Mary looked at Lily, who had remained still since the little kiss, and laughed. "You're going to have to decide soon, Lily. He's obsessed with you. I heard from Frank Longbottom that he heard from some Gryffindor.. Well, basically, James Potter never shuts up about you."

Lily forced a smile. She knew James' feelings for her. The REAL thing she had to worry about was, did she feel the same about him? Or was it the other boy, the one who had kept her from having a clear mind all night, that she had feelings for..?

Love, she decided, was unnecessary and stupid.


	3. A letter from mum

**Chapter 3 **

_A letter from mum _

After breakfast, the owls arrived, bringing post. Lily waited for her tawny owl Leo, and sure enough, he swooped down low over the Gryffindor table, to many 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' from the other Gryffindor students. They loved Leo; he was friendly and beautiful to look at. Lily had chosen him just before her third year when her old tabby cat had passed away.

Leo dropped an envelope onto Lily's empty plate, and landed near by. Alice Freight, the long-term girlfriend of Frank Longbottom, tickled the owl gently, and fed him some bread.

Lily picked up the envelope, and looked at it. She knew instantly it was from her mother. Lily opened it carefully, and with Mary looking at it over her shoulder, scanned her eyes over the letter.

_Dear Lily, _

_How are you doing darling? Well, I hope. Things here are same as usual. Quiet, but then, with us being 'muggles', what can one expect? _

_Petunia has met a boy; Vernon Dursley. Me and your father have only met him once, and if I'm honest, it was not an enjoyable experience! We were having dinner, when Vernon saw that picture of you we keep next to the window, and of course asked who you were. Things got a little awkward then; Petunia had warned me beforehand not to mention you or your magical abilities. However, I am very proud of you, and told Vernon all about you. I could tell it was a mistake, because his face went red and he excused himself before we'd even started pudding! Petunia was very angry with me.. But I argued with her that if young Vernon was going to become part of them family, he would have to find out about you at some point! Of course, your sister disagreed. Teenage girls.. _

_Although saying that, you never put a toe out of line, and you're supposed to be the witch of the family! _

_We can't wait to have you home for Christmas. We will be giving you your eighteenth birthday present early, as you will be back at Hogwarts when the big day comes. _

_We are really all looking forward to your return home! (Even Petunia.) _

_Lots of love, Mum x _

Lily was still gazing at the paper long after she'd finished reading it. _Petunia missed her.. that was likely._ And she was now involved with a boy? Lily had to admit, she never thought her sister would be able to find someone who would put up with her obsessive and slightly arrogant behaviour. But this 'Vernon Dursley' sounded like he may just be the same. Perhaps worse..

The thought made Lily shudder. She was not looking forward to meeting him. Maybe Petunia would of moved out by then? She was nearly nineteen after all.. Lily sighed, and Mary tapped her on the shouler.

"I see what you mean about your sister being judgemental!" she said. "I would be _proud_ to have you as a sister, Lily! Whether I was a muggle or not!"

Lily smiled at Mary, but she knew in her head that Petunia had always been envious of her. Even as children, before Lily had known she was a witch and was experimenting with her magical abilities, Petunia had not bothered hiding her jealousy. It made Lily sad. All she wanted was to get on with her sister.. However, it seemed to late to make amends now. Petunia would probably marry this Vernon Dursley and move away, maybe never speaking to Lily again.

_I _am _a freak.._ Lily thought to herself. _I should be with my sister, discussing boys and stuff.. _

She sighed again and looked down. No point in dwelling over what could have been.


	4. Searching for Severus

**Chapter 4 **

After breakfast was finished, and Lily had hidden her letter in her robes near her chest, she and Mary left the Great Hall, arms linked.

"What do you want to do today, Lil?" Mary asked her friend, as they passed students who had woken up late and were rushing to breakfast.

"There's something I want to do, Mary," Lily replied, stopping as they reached the Entrance Hall, "but I will have to do it alone.. Without you."

Mary looked at Lily, into her almond shaped green eyes, and gave an understanding nod. Because they were so close, they could almost read each others minds, a little like twins. Mary knew Lily was going to do something she had been wanting to do for a while, months, maybe years.

"Thank you, Mary," Lily smiled, and gave her friend a quick hug. "See you later!"

Lily rushed off, towards the dungeons. She was going to see her old friend, Severus. It had been two years since they had last spoken properly, and they had fallen out over him calling her a mudblood. Well, she had fallen out with him. Since then, he had tried everything in his power to win her friendship back, but he had not been successful; as nice, kind, and sweet as Lily was, she was also hot-headed and had a lot of pride. It was now time, she decided, to let go of that pride and at least hear him out.

She arrived in the dungeons shortly after, but this did not help her in her search of the Slytherin common room. _I'm an idiot.._ she thought to herself. She had not even thought of asking anyone else where she should start looking for the common room. Not that any of her friends knew.

As she stood thinking to herself, she heard a noise behind her. She spun round, and saw two seventh year Slytherin girls, in deep conversation, walking towards her. Lily shifted uncomfortably on her feet. It was a well known fact that Slytherin's did not get along with Gryffindors.

The two girls continued walking, until the slightly taller one stopped, and pointed at Lily. Her friend looked, and a smirk appeared on her lips.

"Well well well, what's a mudblood like _you_ doing down here?"

Lily looked at the girls. She recognized them as Delta Cauldcake (the taller one), and Drucilla Bublé. Lily breathed in deeply, and said, "I'm looking for Severus Snape. I'm wondering if you could get him for me from your common room?"

Drucilla and Delta looked at each other, then burst out laughing. "What, in the name of all things pure, makes you think _we_ would do anything for _you_?" Drucilla cackled.

"Mudblood!" Delta added.

Lily sighed. She had expected this. It seemed all Slyhtherins were bone headed and self centred, and wouldn't do a thing anyone asked of them.

"Fine," she said, shortly, and stepped forwards to go back up into the Main Entrance. However, Drucilla had other ideas. She stepped in front of Lily, wand raised.

"You're not going anywhere. We're going to teach you that mudbloods _do not belong in the dungeons_!"

Lily grabbed hold of her own wand, prepared for a fight, but suddenly that were a flash of light, and Drucilla fell, slowly, and hit the ground. She had been stunned. Not, however, by Lily.

Delta looked around, her eyes wide with terror. "W-who was that?!" she demanded, looking up the dark passageway. There was no one there.

"Is this one of your stupid tricks, mudblood?" Delta asked, stepping closer towards Lily. Lily shook her head.

"I actually have no idea what just happened.." she said. She looked around nervously, then was jolted forwards when Delta grabbed onto her robes.

"_Liar_!" the Slytherin spat, raising her wand into Lily's face.

With another flash, Delta froze, and keeled backwards, landing on the floor with a thump.

Lily looked around nervously. Passageways certainly didn't curse students of their own accord, so there was obviously someone there..

_(A/N - Please review. I do like where this story is going but I need to know if anyone's reading it XD) _


	5. Searching for Severus part 2

**Chapter 5 **

_Searching for Severus (part 2)_

Lily was wondering whether to run, up through the passage and away from the dungeons, back up to Gryffindor tower, and forget about finding Severus. He probably didn't want to see her anyway, he was probably with his Death Eater friends, maybe discussing _her_. They had once been best friends, but he had probably moved on.

Just as she was about to start running, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, and shrieked.

"Geez Lily, calm down.."

Lily turned, and saw James Potters head – his body seemed to be invisible – grinning at her. Her eyes widened with shock.

"What? - What is this?" she gasped. Her brow furrowed with annoyance. Typical James Potter, playing tricks, and acting like an idiot. James shifted, and his body appeared, and he seemed to be holding something – like a cloak, but an immaculate one, it didn't look like it had been worn.

"Hey, you should be thanking me," he said, "Those Slytherins would have _murdered_ you Lily, if I hadn't been watching.."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Have you been _following_ me?" she asked, getting more annoyed by the minute. "And what is that? Some kind of _invisibility cloak_?" She laughed harshly, but his serious look told her that it was indeed an invisibility cloak.

"_What_?!" she demanded, "Where did you get that?"

"Quit with the questions, Lil," James said. "I think I deserve better treatment than this. Maybe a thank-you, or a thank-you kiss.." He looked at her hopefully, and she couldn't remain angry. Yes, James Potter was an annoying weirdo, who followed her around, cursing anyone that looked at her in a funny way, but he _had_ just saved her..

"Thank you," she sighed. "But I don't want you following me around anymore, alright? I may have to hex you if I find you have been stalking me again.."

"I wasn't stalking you, Lily!" James said, looking hurt, "I knew you were coming down to the dungeons, alone. It seemed a very stupid idea to me.. I knew there would be Slytherins down here, who would love the idea of you, defenceless and alone.. I thought I'd be your knight in shining armour." Lily rolled her eyes at this, but a small smile appeared on her lips.

"As I said, thank you, James," she said.

"What I want to know," James began, "Is why you came down here in the first place. You don't need two Slytherin girls trying to curse you to know that the dungeons aren't safe for the likes of us – Gryffindors."

"I.. I was looking for someone," Lily said, slightly flushed. She knew James and Severus still didn't get on very well, though since starting his seventh year, James had eased the bullying, and it was mostly his friend Sirius that continued with it.

"Oh yeah?" James said, eyebrows raised. "Who's that then?"

Lily looked him straight into the eyes. James and his friends seemed to know a lot about Hogwarts, somehow, like they had a map made only for them, or something.. He could help her find the common room. "I was looking for Severus."

James blinked. "Sniv-" he began, but Lily's face gave him a warning that if he continued, she would cast a spell that would stick his legs together. "I mean.. _Severus_? I thought.. I thought you two weren't friends anymore?" He had a slightly worried look on his face. If Lily was becoming friends with Severus Snape again, would that mean she would stop talking to him? James liked Lily a lot, and he knew, from the way Snape looked at her, that he did too.

"Well," Lily began, "I've had enough of holding onto this grudge against him. There is no way I agree with the way he acts, or his friends – but I know, now, that he never _intended_ to hurt me. I need to let down my pride." Saying it felt weird for her, but she knew she was right. Friendships were ruined by pride, and jealousy. She knew this all to well with her sister. Lily understood what Severus must be feeling with her blanking him, and ignoring him, after one, simple mistake.

James did not look amused. "But he called you a – you know," He didn't want to say it himself. "Once a fool, making a mistake, always a fool, making mistakes."

"James, if I believed that, then I would _never_ have started talking to you." Lily smiled slightly. "You were an _idiot_ when we were younger. But.. You have changed. Definatley for the best."

James smiled at this comment. He had changed. He had known he had to change if he ever was going to stand a chance with the lovely Miss Evans. "Thank you.." he said.

Lily returned his smile. It felt nice not to be arguing, if not a little strange. "So," she said slowly, looking at James seriously. "Can you help me find the Slytherin common room?"

James considered the question for a moment. He knew exactly where the Slytherin common room was. But he could lead Lily along.. He didn't really want to help her find Snape. But, looking into her kind, green eyes, he knew he had no choice.

"Yes.. I can help you."


End file.
